I've been thinking the last few days about how it is people feel valued and what makes them feel not valued. Specifically how this relates to school. I was thinking we make our children go to school. Although my children have good attitudes about school, they are essentially there by force, captives for 6.5 hours. In that time they are forced to sit by people they don't choose, do things they don't want to do and then get scored on it.
I think boys have it worse than girls. Honestly most boys don't naturally fit into classrooms. In classrooms being quiet and still are valued. Boys, at least mine, are loud and never stop moving (even when sitting still my husband has to tap his leg, it drives me nuts when we're watching movies).
On top of all of this we are trying to make boys more neutral, pc or just trying to cover in case something happens. My son is no longer allowed to write in his own journal that everyone gets to write on their own topics about most anything that he is interested in. Nothing that involves violence. Just to let you know that means no: Yugioh, pokemon, star wars, heroscape, pirates...
The teacher then made two comments I found very funny.
1. We're just going to have to get him interested in something else.
Um, so to be in this class he has to completely alter who he is and what he likes. Well no wonder he doesn't like it. Maybe we could just sit down and draw up what it is that would be most convenient for us and let him know what he likes from now on.
2. When given a writing task it is hard to get him to complete it.
Duh! you just told him couldn't ever write about anything he likes. What did you expect?
All sarcasm aside I really am at a loss for how to deal with this whole situation. Its much deeper than what is said here and I feel ill equipped to handle it and make decisions regarding it. Please pray for Adam and I as we parent through this situation and for our children. I feel like this is the beginning of a long road for us and I'm so unsure of where we are headed and how to proceed.
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6 comments:
I just started a reading group for boys the age of yours (6-12) at work. Basically trying to get boys to read and at the same time allowing them to be boys, do boy things, and have fun while doing it.
I agree with you that we can't ignore this spirit in boys. No wonder boys are poorer readers and overall do worse in school than girls...
qsarah, thanks for sharing so openly, i'll be praying for you and adam, for wisdom, for encouragement. blessings to you guys, miss you--
Wow. Your son's teacher reminds me of when my son shared his book and tape of David and Goliath--he liked the slingshot bit! And guess what his teacher did? Wouldn't let him share because it was "religious." BUT, on the other hand, they are taught to "honor diversity"--as long as it is the exact diversity that the schools want to promote.
It's a tough one, for certain.
This is a topic that evokes great passion in me! I think the set-up of our schools (and churches) offer a disservice to boys. Boys are by nature not meant to sit still for long periods of time. We tell them to "sit still!"; where the inactivity causes their brains to literally go to sleep (a function that is necessary for men as they are in war and other highly charged environments). So then we holler "pay attention!". And as you noted about Adam, Sarah, the only way for them to stay engaged is to keep their bodies moving. It's a terrible catch-22. I would love to see smaller classes (much smaller) with active learning that suits a boys character more fully - rather than labeling boys as ADHD because they cannot comply with an unrealistic environment.
As for the writing assignment issues, I am not a trained educator, so I would not claim to know more than a teacher about his or her classroom. I have liked the philosophy we have had at PSP, though - we want the children to like reading and writing. Whatever can help that, even if it goes outside of our planned lesson, is great. So writing about "violent" topics gets your boy to love writing, then yay! She'd rather have him journaling his fantasies than acting them out in the classroom, anyway. Right?
Well she did ask me about having him evaluated for ADHD. Not being a trained medical professional my opinion is that he doesn't have ADHD. But I think her fear is that if she lets him or anyone write, talk, play or think about "violence" then someone will bring a gun to school. I really do think its odd since they talk about the war in Iraq. Apparently real war is the only violence allowed.
I read an article about single sex classrooms taught by same gender teachers (there are sooo not enough male elementary teachers to implement this nation wide). I think that boys would so benefit from this kind of instruction.
There's always tacks on the teacher's chair.
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