Every family has one. Someone who is just different, who doesn't seem to fit, the black sheep if you will. I am that sheep in my family, the black one. I realize that this has a negative connotation to it but bear with me. This weekend Adam and i went camping. We invited my mom and her family. We left friday set up camp then picked the boys and my sister up from school and headed out. My mom had to work saturday so her husband was going to come out and set up the tent saturday morning then they would all come out after she got off work at 7. They were bringing more fire wood. This is important. So 9 o'clock rolls around, then 10 o'clock. The kids give up and go to bed. Adam had a headache and went to bed. So there I was sitting around a pathetic onelogkindasmoldering camp fire by myself. I went to bed. As soon as I got all snuggled into the covers I saw headlights and heard my moms voice. Up I got. Here comes the black sheep part.
She is by herself, no husband, no son, no son's creepy friend. There was a fight with inevitably no winner just hurt all around. Next pulls up Jed, step dads best friend, a very drunk step dad, another friend of theirs and my brother. They pile out and from that moment on the weekend was just pretty sucky. The weather even got worse. There were many drunk men, much discussion about sex, both persuasions, more drugs and just plain stupidity. I love my family but I just don't know how I came from them. I have never felt like I fit in. Being different is hard.
I guess it boils down to being in the world but not of it. I have been struggling with this concept since forever. How do i have meaningful relationships with my family but not get inmeshed in the drama and other stuff? I have not been good at it and I don't know that I ever will be. My current dilema is that now my kids are exposed to it. Is that good bad indifferent? I can't decide. I know that they are aware of more than i probably give them credit for, especially isaac. How do I deal with that? I don't want them to get the idea that their grandparents and stuff are bad. I definately don't want them to ever say anything along those lines to their relatives. I know that there must be other people who deal with this. I am in need of good sound wisdom, more patience and a large billy club.
Congrats on making it through my rambling thoughts tonight. i am still chewing on the situation and how i should respond. My mom and I have an odd relationship in that she asks me for advice on what to do in certain situations. I never know what to say. I always feel a bit akward.
About Me
- sarah
- I like to sleep in but can't really remember the last time I did. I like scrapbooking, reading, playing soccer. I have four darling kids, many of whom keep me up at night. I wish I liked vegetables more than junk food. If you need another player for a board game, I'm your gal.
2 comments:
I've been thinking about your post quite a bit, Sarah, since I first read it a couple of evenings ago. You are definitely a sheep of some color - living in a family of goats, it sounds like. I have no real understanding of what that must be like, but I am certainly impressed with your strength and resolve. You have chosen to follow the Shepherd, which gives you a different world view, a different language, a different set of values from your own earthly family.
As for your kids, I'd probably do just what I imagine you are - attempt to keep them safe from age-inappropriate experiences, tell them that these relatives, although good people, are not choosing to follow Jesus, and actively pray for that with the kids.
Thanks for sharing this tough situation. Have you come to any conclusions now that a few more days have elapsed?
You're family sounds like mine...I just stay with friends while I'm home though. That makes aviodance my key strategy. Although I'm sure that isn't the greatest, I'm not really a fan of being high, drunk, or cussed at. So, it works. Are you guys going to be around this summer? My first Sunday back is the 10th...It'd be great to see you!
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