Not again

There are several things i have never wanted to do or really ever entertained in my mind. Among those are bungie jumping, eating something that once produced slime and having surgery.

I have recently reconsidered the last of the never to do activities. I always said i never want to be in a hospital for a reason other than having a baby. I have been feeling so miserable lately despite the new medicine they gave me. At my appointment yesterday he went from, " well you seem to be having symptoms even though you're on the medication' (Um duh, I just said that) to 'the surgery would be a good option if we did this test. You could have (tuned out due to overuse of medical jargon) CANCER' (tuned back in due to the use of the word CANCER!) did I hear him right? The truth is i don't have cancer and at this point he doesn't think that right now i'm a good candidate for cancer, (I imagined people running for the cancer election when he said this), it is however a possibility if we can't find a way to manage these symptoms. So lucky me i feel crappy and i get to continue to feel crappy for some undetermined amount of time. Once they decide when to have me do the next round of testing I have to stop taking my pills for a week before hand. His advice for when doing the test is to do all the things that really make me feel horrible. That way they'll get a good handle for how bad it is. My poor family, my poor husband. I am going to be such a happy camper for a while. I am hoping that whatever this next test reveals it is difinitive. I would like one extreme or the other. Surgery is the only option or we can't even consider the surgery. None of this middle ground having to make a decision of wether or not to have a surgery. Cause frankly I'm not sure what I'd pick.